A lunch conversation shakes my heart. Scenario: a classmate has been married for nearly twenty years and has teenage children. Only in the past 4 or 5 years has she began to receive and be transformed by the love of Jesus. Within a few weeks of her conversion, she received her call into ministry and will graduate this spring with her MDIV.
However, her husband has yet to experience the freedom of the love of Christ. You can only imagine how much change they have experienced when seemingly out of the blue the wife meets Jesus and now their entire lives and future look different. Mom now "loves Jesus" and wants the same for her family. She begins seminary and the family may now be moving soon to wherever the Lord leads her.
As I listened to her share about the joys and struggles of loving her husband and appreciating all of his support, while at the same time longing for him to know Jesus, my heart shifted. Jesus has really been pursuing her husband. To the point of the Holy Spirit giving him dreams. Digest this:
(this is only my retelling of the dream as it spoke to me, so I do not promise 100% accurate detail) He dreamt one night that he was in a pool, in the shallow end, and he could see his wife down in the deep end. Upon the deck of the deep end of the pool stood a man whom his wife got out to stand beside and he watched and realized that his wife was standing beside another man whom she loved dearly. It was unmistakably apparent to him that his wife possessed unmeasurable love for the gentleman on the deck. He wanted to get out of the pool and go over to where the two of them stood; however, he couldn't get out. He just watched as the reality of this situation settled within his heart. He then declared that he wanted to get out of the pool and stand there with her and this other man, for he realized this other man was Jesus. The love she possessed for Jesus was so obviously pure and beautiful, yet he struggled with the reality of the separation he felt from his wife. Jesus then simply asked him, "Do you think she wants to be separated from you?" He awoke and shared the dream with his wife.
His journey into the arms of Christ continues to this day, but my heart was truly shaken. Having personal experience with couples where one individual is in love with the Lord and the other has yet to receive His love, I was overwhelmed with the perception of the emotions that must be controlling the non-believer's heart. Their love for their spouse is unwavering and they continue to support and love him/her. However, they also are very aware of the separation that exists between them. Can you see how easily the enemy, when allowed, can take this situation to awaken insecurities, jealousy, feelings of inadequacy, judgment, betrayal, anger and inferiority in the heart of the unbelieving spouse?
My heart was truly broken in a new way for the state of many families who must deal with this reality daily. I am frustrated with the power the enemy possesses in said situations to cultivate separation and disunity, where the true Love of Christ desires to cultivate redemption and restoration. We mustn't be quick to jump back in the pool, believing that we can bring our loved ones out. Jesus pulled us out of the pool and only He can do the same for them. However, we must be compassionate and seek to be understanding of the struggle that this separation creates. Sometimes our loved ones may see how much we love Jesus and want that for themselves. Other times, they may feel "cheated on" when seeing our first devotion go to someone else. Perhaps they want to get out of the pool to be with this man, Jesus. Or perhaps they want to "get out of the pool" just to secure their own place with us. They must realize that this isn't a battle between them and Jesus for who gets first place in our hearts. This is a struggle between them and Jesus for who gets first place in their own heart.
May we all pursue God, and God alone, with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength. And may we faithfully wait and intercede for our loved ones to find the same freedom and peace that has been given to us.
3 comments:
It's stories like this that make me truly thankful and blessed that God gave me a husband that truly loves the Lord himself. I can't imagine being in a marriage with that kind of separation. Thank you, Jesus! And yet, because I do have this blessing, I often forget about those that are struggling in such a way. Thank you for re-opening my eyes to struggles going on around me that I need to be interseeding for.
I really must start reading your blogs before I get ready for work, because I always have to touch up my self after a good cry. Your words speak a lot of love and in your special gift I see a little better but yes your right its hard and if anyone should know that you should. Thanks for such an inspirational story. I love you so much
just a reminder that we all need a broken heart
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