For the first time in 2009, I have walked around Wilmore the past two days without wearing a jacket. It has been amazing. Flowers are blooming. The sun is shining. My allergies are imploding. It has been beautiful. I am not sure that the "April showers" have come to an end. However, joy is returning.
I have always heard about "winter depression" before. How cold weather, less daylight, and being inside for so much time can intensify the feelings of depression in everyone. I am not claiming to be a veteran at this; still, I can honestly say I have really experienced that this year. With the arrival of Spring, however, all is changing. Even amongst uncertainty and the stress of life, I have found myself more and more joyful of late. And I honestly can attest much of it to the weather.
Walking to class on Thursday morning, I was feeling pretty well. After two very very late nights of writing papers, I had actually gotten 9 hours of sleep on Wednesday night (when recovering from malaria, that really doesn't seem like a lot of sleep). I was eating a bagel and preparing to enjoy another grand lecture from Dr. Mulholland. As I past several trees, I heard a few birds singing and chirping. The sounds made me smile, quickly followed by a random revelation. I haven't been whistling.
In the past, I have been known for walking around and spontaneously whistling. I suppose it has just been a way to express joy. I am by no means incredible at whistling (although trying to make my niece and nephews whistle is quite humorous). But the sounds of the birds singing made me realize that I have not whistled in a very long while. I was tempted to begin whistling right then and force myself back into the habit. However, as I thought about it, I knew that my whistling is not what caused my joy. Whistling for me had been a product of joy. Therefore, instead of making myself whistle in hopes that the fullness of joy would return, I simply became thankful of the reminder and decided that I would try to really find more joy in all areas of my life.
The past two days have been much better, thanks to the sun and pollen, and now I await the arrival of the whistling. I will not force it. I will not fake it. I also will not forget it. And I hope to soon be annoying others with my whistles once again.
In this, I am reminded that most of our actions and habits are responses to our perspectives, emotions, and experiences. Therefore, if you find certain behaviors or tendencies missing in your life, don't simply try to bring them back. Identify what their cause was and allow yourself to grow back into those areas that bring you life. Ask the Lord to return your joy, and you will find it in Him through all things. May you all find your whistles again.
April 25, 2009
April 20, 2009
The verdict is in...
Just an update, for those of you who have been wondering about me.
After my car was broken into two weeks ago, a few other things occurred which made for a very difficult week. The ending to that week found me in the hospital and not feeling well at all. This made it difficult to celebrate life during Easter. However, this morning, after many tests and months of feeling ill, the doctors have placed their finger on what they believe has been going on with me.
Back in 2006, on my trip to Ghana, I contracted malaria. Malaria is not a huge issue overseas as they see it on a regular basis. Thus, I took medicine from a local pharmacy and within a week or so after being back in the States, I felt normal again. Apparently, you always carry the malaria with you after you've contracted it. And for reasons that I never fully expect to understand, it has flared up in me. Perhaps from the complications that arose after my coconut allergic reaction, or it could have simply been from a random virus that I contracted over the past few weeks.
The good news is that being aware of what they are dealing with, the doctors have a plan of action, and within a few weeks to a month, they expect I will be back to 100% health. I eagerly await the day. Thanks for your prayers and concerns. I pray this is only the beginning to the answers that I've been seeking for in prayer.
May you find brokenness in His will and healing in His power as He forms you more into His image.
After my car was broken into two weeks ago, a few other things occurred which made for a very difficult week. The ending to that week found me in the hospital and not feeling well at all. This made it difficult to celebrate life during Easter. However, this morning, after many tests and months of feeling ill, the doctors have placed their finger on what they believe has been going on with me.
Back in 2006, on my trip to Ghana, I contracted malaria. Malaria is not a huge issue overseas as they see it on a regular basis. Thus, I took medicine from a local pharmacy and within a week or so after being back in the States, I felt normal again. Apparently, you always carry the malaria with you after you've contracted it. And for reasons that I never fully expect to understand, it has flared up in me. Perhaps from the complications that arose after my coconut allergic reaction, or it could have simply been from a random virus that I contracted over the past few weeks.
The good news is that being aware of what they are dealing with, the doctors have a plan of action, and within a few weeks to a month, they expect I will be back to 100% health. I eagerly await the day. Thanks for your prayers and concerns. I pray this is only the beginning to the answers that I've been seeking for in prayer.
May you find brokenness in His will and healing in His power as He forms you more into His image.
April 8, 2009
Wilmore strikes back
When I was preparing to leave for work yesterday afternoon, I came to the startling realization that the T-bird had been violated. Someone broke into my car on Monday night and has provided some unnecessary drama for the week.
Some tools and my Maglite flashlight were stolen. The radio had been pulled out of the dash and was laying in pieces throughout the car. Stuff was strewn everywhere. The Wilmore Police Officer filing the report was quite the character. All I can say is, "only in Wilmore do the cops stop to spit their chewing tobacco."
I've tried to reassemble the radio to the best of my knowledge. So far, no success. I will be enjoying silent drives now, which may not be such a bad thing. And the most surprising news is that this has not been the worst part of the week.
As the "Chronicles of the T-bird" add more chapters, I'm becoming more and more unsettled in this place. May the Lord provide you and me Peace; Peace that surpasses and also encompasses understanding.
Some tools and my Maglite flashlight were stolen. The radio had been pulled out of the dash and was laying in pieces throughout the car. Stuff was strewn everywhere. The Wilmore Police Officer filing the report was quite the character. All I can say is, "only in Wilmore do the cops stop to spit their chewing tobacco."
I've tried to reassemble the radio to the best of my knowledge. So far, no success. I will be enjoying silent drives now, which may not be such a bad thing. And the most surprising news is that this has not been the worst part of the week.
As the "Chronicles of the T-bird" add more chapters, I'm becoming more and more unsettled in this place. May the Lord provide you and me Peace; Peace that surpasses and also encompasses understanding.
April 7, 2009
Welcome Home
My spring break (or more appropriately referred to as reading week) could be described by these two words: Welcome Home.
First of all, and most appropriately, I was able to visit home and see my family. I miss them a lot and it was very nice to spend a few days with all of them. Thanks to my dad, some repair work was done on my car (the T-bird is thankful!) Also, I got to see my two nephews and niece. On Monday, I took Evan to the beach. Although it was too cold to swim, we had a lot of fun flying his kite and playing in the sand. He fell asleep on the drive home, which I am pretty sure means I did my job at the beach. Here he is buried in the sand.
Here is an updated picture of Lucas as well. I can't believe how much he has grown in just four months. He fell asleep while laying in front of me one afternoon.
Secondly, my spring break can be described as "Welcome Home" as that was the theme of this years Crosstrainers Retreat. For those of you who don't know, Crosstrainers is a ministry that I have been blessed to be a part of for the past 8 years. It is a Christ-centered mentoring program which connects inner-city kids in Athens, GA with college students from UGA. I was blessed to be a coach(mentor) for four years as a student and helped to lead the program for two years while working at the Wesley Foundation. Last year I was blessed to return and attend their annual retreat. Likewise, this year I notched my eighth Crosstrainers Retreat into my belt. I honestly cannot put into words the joy and delight in my heart from seeing all of the kids again, as well as their coaches. I must admit that I also miss the kids which are no longer involved and wonder where they are in their lives.
I was asked to help speak to these kids this year and our message came from John 15:4. In the Message Remixed, a contemporary interpretation of the Bible, this verse reads "Live in Me. Make your home in me as I do in you." All weekend we wanted the children to understand what it means for them to live in God, make their home in him, as well as to understand what it means that God lives in us and makes his home in our hearts, thus no longer only residing within the temple.
I do not have time to share the many stories and emotions from the weekend. I will suffice to say that it was a great time. The kids have matured so much and when I hear stories of families that have broken the cycle of poverty in their lives and moved into new homes, or seniors in high school that are hard at work trying to decide where they will go to college, my heart melts. This ministry is truly a discipleship based ministry which is one of the reasons my heart is burdened with it. Below are a few pictures from the weekend. I did not get to take many pictures, and hope to have more to post as soon as I get them.
I have known all of the kids and coaches pictured above for quite a few years. To see them still together blesses my heart so much. Below, is a picture of a friend of mine with one of the newest members of the Kingdom of God. Praise the Lord! Knowing that Rebecca will continue to disciple this newest child of God whom has been welcomed home is so very encouraging.
And finally, "Welcome Home" is appropriate because during my few days spent around friends and students that I have been blessed to minister to and disciple over the past several years, I was able to spend time catching up with them and hearing what the Lord is doing in their lives now. I am so encouraged by hearing each of their stories. And as I sat with each one of them, I felt alive. More alive than I have in quite a while. I felt as though I was once again doing the very thing I was created to do. Before me sat those whom the Lord has given me an enormous heart for and I was able to truly love them. It is true that I mostly just listened to them. However, whether my words impacted them or not, I could not have been happier. I was able to listen to the Spirit intercede for them as they shared with me, and whether it was through words that I spoke aloud or through prayers that resonated in my heart, I felt anointed to speak life to and over them. There were a few conversations in particular which so moved my heart that it was hard to say good-bye again. I am more thankful than there are words to express.
Overall, it was good to be home. I still hate that my original spring break plans fell through. Ironically though, those plans would have taken me out of the country and instead I was welcomed home into my family, into friends and children whom I love as greatly as I know how, and into the very presence and working of the Holy Spirit. May you encounter such a blessing as you reflect upon and experience Him in this Holy Week. Happy Easter!
First of all, and most appropriately, I was able to visit home and see my family. I miss them a lot and it was very nice to spend a few days with all of them. Thanks to my dad, some repair work was done on my car (the T-bird is thankful!) Also, I got to see my two nephews and niece. On Monday, I took Evan to the beach. Although it was too cold to swim, we had a lot of fun flying his kite and playing in the sand. He fell asleep on the drive home, which I am pretty sure means I did my job at the beach. Here he is buried in the sand.
Here is an updated picture of Lucas as well. I can't believe how much he has grown in just four months. He fell asleep while laying in front of me one afternoon.
Secondly, my spring break can be described as "Welcome Home" as that was the theme of this years Crosstrainers Retreat. For those of you who don't know, Crosstrainers is a ministry that I have been blessed to be a part of for the past 8 years. It is a Christ-centered mentoring program which connects inner-city kids in Athens, GA with college students from UGA. I was blessed to be a coach(mentor) for four years as a student and helped to lead the program for two years while working at the Wesley Foundation. Last year I was blessed to return and attend their annual retreat. Likewise, this year I notched my eighth Crosstrainers Retreat into my belt. I honestly cannot put into words the joy and delight in my heart from seeing all of the kids again, as well as their coaches. I must admit that I also miss the kids which are no longer involved and wonder where they are in their lives.
I was asked to help speak to these kids this year and our message came from John 15:4. In the Message Remixed, a contemporary interpretation of the Bible, this verse reads "Live in Me. Make your home in me as I do in you." All weekend we wanted the children to understand what it means for them to live in God, make their home in him, as well as to understand what it means that God lives in us and makes his home in our hearts, thus no longer only residing within the temple.
I do not have time to share the many stories and emotions from the weekend. I will suffice to say that it was a great time. The kids have matured so much and when I hear stories of families that have broken the cycle of poverty in their lives and moved into new homes, or seniors in high school that are hard at work trying to decide where they will go to college, my heart melts. This ministry is truly a discipleship based ministry which is one of the reasons my heart is burdened with it. Below are a few pictures from the weekend. I did not get to take many pictures, and hope to have more to post as soon as I get them.
I have known all of the kids and coaches pictured above for quite a few years. To see them still together blesses my heart so much. Below, is a picture of a friend of mine with one of the newest members of the Kingdom of God. Praise the Lord! Knowing that Rebecca will continue to disciple this newest child of God whom has been welcomed home is so very encouraging.
And finally, "Welcome Home" is appropriate because during my few days spent around friends and students that I have been blessed to minister to and disciple over the past several years, I was able to spend time catching up with them and hearing what the Lord is doing in their lives now. I am so encouraged by hearing each of their stories. And as I sat with each one of them, I felt alive. More alive than I have in quite a while. I felt as though I was once again doing the very thing I was created to do. Before me sat those whom the Lord has given me an enormous heart for and I was able to truly love them. It is true that I mostly just listened to them. However, whether my words impacted them or not, I could not have been happier. I was able to listen to the Spirit intercede for them as they shared with me, and whether it was through words that I spoke aloud or through prayers that resonated in my heart, I felt anointed to speak life to and over them. There were a few conversations in particular which so moved my heart that it was hard to say good-bye again. I am more thankful than there are words to express.
Overall, it was good to be home. I still hate that my original spring break plans fell through. Ironically though, those plans would have taken me out of the country and instead I was welcomed home into my family, into friends and children whom I love as greatly as I know how, and into the very presence and working of the Holy Spirit. May you encounter such a blessing as you reflect upon and experience Him in this Holy Week. Happy Easter!
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