biopsy

Optical biopsy's (or whatever the technical term is) are painful and weird. I had mine today. After "paralyzing" one eye so that it wouldn't move during the biopsy, I can only see out of one of my eyes. I should have complete vision back by tomorrow morning (hopefully before class).



Still praying it is not cancer. But regardless, I can't go through a day like today without thanking the Lord for the gift of vision. What a beautiful world! May you see all that He has placed around you, the beauty and the pain, and be moved by both into an appropriate response.

Fighting the battle

The past month, we have been focusing on the Kingdom during our gatherings at Emerge. I have been talking to them all about what it means to be a part of a Kingdom, what our inheritance is, what our purpose is, etc... Last week, we looked at what it means to fight for the Kingdom.

In the gospel, we read that the Kingdom is forcefully advancing (Matt. 11:12). These words inspire the images of a fierce battle in which the boundaries of the Kingdom are expanded. Yet, we know that the Kingdom coming is not a kingdom of this world. The Kingdom Christians long for is the reign and rule of Jesus. Still, as inhabitants of His Kingdom, we have a responsibility to fight for its advancement.

We can find many references in scripture to battle and how we are to play a role in it. What I suggested to the students at Emerge is that the battle we fight most often comes back to a battle in our minds. For the kingdom to advance in me, more and more of my heart, soul, and mind has to be subjected to the Truth of Jesus. Therefore, acquiring the mind of Christ is one of the primary goals for each of us as we help usher in the Kingdom.

Paul writes about "taking every thought captive" in his letter to the Corinthians (2 Cor. 10:3-5). In order to do this, truth has to be dwelling within me. Without the presence of truth in my life, I am unable to identify the lies of the enemy and subsequently cannot take them captive. Once I can identify the lies, I seek the truth of scripture and of the heart of Jesus (He is the Living Word) and replace the lies with truth. Thus, this entire process of taking thoughts captive is what I am suggesting to be one of the foremost avenues through which we fight in His Kingdom.

This may not look like Mel Gibson covered in paint and blood, riding a horse around a field stirring up his fellow countrymen to fight for freedom (Braveheart reference), yet it is the process through which the real boundaries of freedom are expanded in our lives. And when more of my heart and mind are subjected to the King, more of the kingdom is established within me. Likewise, the more thoughts you take captive, the more the kingdom is established within you. And as you and I interact, both having more of the kingdom inside of us, more of the Kingdom in manifested in our interaction.

Let me give you an example. Throughout the past couple of weeks, I've been waiting to find out whether or not I have eye cancer. If you've read my previous post, you know that I am still unsure as to whether or not I have cancer. While waiting to know the result, my biggest fear has not been whether or not I have cancer. My largest fear has been the thought of having to fight through it by myself here in Kentucky.

I have great friends here (really, I do). I am loving my church more and more. Still, my closest friends and family are all a far ways off. Combined with my experience of being in the hospital last fall by myself, I became very anxious and concerned about how I would emotionally be able to handle all of this. Even when I would allow myself to think that friends here would care for me or some of you would come visit me, I would discount those thoughts by thinking "they would, but it would be so much of a burden on them. They have enough going on in their lives right now. I can't expect them to do that. If only I were married, etc..." If I were to tell you this to your face, most of you would respond with something like, "but you are not alone Jeffrey. We are here. We may not be close to you physically, but we are still here to go through this with you. We will pray for you and if need be, we can even come to visit you." I would be encouraged by your words. Still, I would be fearful and anxious.

Yet, when I allowed the Holy Spirit to open my eyes to the lies I was believing about being alone, not feeling significant, etc..., I quickly and humbly began letting Him replace those thoughts with truth. Truth that I am loved, that He will never leave me nor forsake me, that He is my provider and my healer, that He is my comforter and restorer, etc... And taking these thoughts captive made a huge difference in my mind, my heart, my anxiety level, and my fear. It also helped me to turn back to seeking His kingdom first and not being so focused on myself. Therefore, the Kingdom advanced.

None of the truths I mentioned above were new revelations for me. Still, I had allowed myself to listen to and start believing some lies; lies which began destroying, or at least hindering the Kingdom within me.

God is greater than the lies we face. Jesus' compassion is greater than any fear we can live in. The Holy Spirit has more power to speak truth than the enemy has to convince us of lies. We simply have to receive it. 1 Peter 4:7 says, "Therefore, be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray."

May each of you fight the battle of taking captive the thoughts and the lies of the enemy in your minds. May the truth of Jesus, and Jesus Himself, fill those places previously occupied with lies. May the Kingdom forcefully advance within you. And may the Kingdom be manifested in greater ways as we interact with one another.

i need your faith

Throughout scripture, faith is tied with healing. Jesus told the woman with the bleeding condition, after she had reached out to touch his robe, that her faith had healed her. Time and time again faith is a component of being healed. While I don't pretend to have a firm understanding on how the Lord heals, I know from scripture that faith plays a role.

Also noteworthy, however, is the fact that healing isn't always contingent upon one's own faith. Scripture, while maintaining the relationship between faith and healing, also gives reference to faith healing other people.

The centurion had faith that led to the healing of his servant. The father's faith led to the healing of his daughter. Friends' faith, as they lowered down the man through the roof, led to his healing. And most notably, Lazarus was risen from the dead not because of his own faith (he was dead!), but by the faith of his friends and family.

I believe. The Lord has proven himself faithful to me more times that I could hope to remember. Yet, I admit that I am weak and sometimes worry. I know He is good. And by that I am sustained.

Yesterday I returned to the doctor to find out about my eye. After several tests and a lot of nerves, the results came. And the verdict.....inconclusive. That's much better than what I could have heard, yet it is still not, "no cancer." There are more tests to come (some blood work, an optical scan, and if need be, some type of micro-biopsy). I have eye drops to use daily ($109 for a bottle that insurance wouldn't pay for).

I am really ok. And I am still believing that this will all become nothing and I will find out that I do not have cancer. But until that day comes, I need your faith. I need your prayers and your petitions raised to the Lord on my behalf. I ask for this in confidence of His love for us and in humility before you. I am honored and blessed by your prayers.

May you grow in your faith in the Lord as He proves Himself faithful to you. May your faith sustain you and those you love, as others' faith helps to sustain you. ~with Love.