One of my favorite narratives in the Bible is found in 1 Samuel 3. I can not imagine how Samuel must have felt through this entire encounter. Maybe it would be best if you take a moment and go read that chapter. While you do, try to imagine the emotions Samuel would have felt. (frustration, excitement, fear, wonder, etc...) And remember, you are reading about maybe a 12 year old boy. This isn't the adult prophet Samuel that we encounter in later scriptures. This is a young boy serving in the temple. (you can catch up on Samuel's history by reading the first two chapter if you are so motivated) So, go read it....
I know how excited I get to hear a familiar voice whether it be a friend's on the phone or my nephew's when I visit home. Likewise, I get pretty motivated when I try to listen to the Lord as well. It is so different, but there is a beautiful grace in waiting on the Spirit and hearing by faith. I know what the journey has been for me in trying to discern the Lord's voice throughout my life. What if you had an experience like Samuel? What if when you heard your name you responded with, "speak Lord, your servant is listening"? And what if that voice then responded? Would you be scared, excited, or would your emotions be dependent on the message you received?
I don't have some great insight into any of this. However, I love reading this story and thinking about all that was going on in Israel (no one had heard God's voice for many years), in Eli's life (his troublesome sons and his care for this boy Samuel), or especially in Samuel's life. I encourage you to read through the story several times and really allow the Holy Spirit to stir your imagination to hear the sounds, see the images, and feel the emotions of this event. As you re-live this small moment in history, may you encounter a new voice. And when you hear it, may you respond with "Speak Lord, your child is listening."
July 20, 2010
July 13, 2010
Freedom Museum
Back in the beginning of the semester, I was privileged to take a trip to Cincinnati with several other seminary students and staff to visit the Freedom Museum, specifically presenting a history of the Underground Railroad.
The entire experience was overwhelming and encouraging at the same time. Experiencing the horrors and injustice of slavery as well as the bravery and grace of the fight against it alongside a community of brothers and sisters, all of whom are being broken over the current state of human trafficking in our world, was truly transformational.
One of the most gripping experiences for me personally was the realization that the largest slave castle from which men, women and children were loaded onto ships was the very one that I visited in 2006 when I was in Ghana. The name of the castle is Elmina and is pictured below from a few photographs I took when I was there. Remembering the weight of my heart when I prayed over the remains of that castle in Ghana and the injustices carried out there while I was standing inside the Freedom museum in Cincinnati was a horrific convergence of two very real worlds and two very real experiences. Each experience truly elevating the reality of the other.
Furthermore, there was a special exhibit on display when we were at the museum chronicling the history of lynching within the United States. Now remember, this covered the history of lynching throughout the whole of the United States, not only the lynching of slaves in the South. In response to that exhibit, I recorded the following thoughts in my journal that evening:
In reading the captions and seeing all of the pictures of victims who had been lynched around America, I was reminded of how often the persons being lynched had been accused of certain crimes or injustices. I found myself quick to have sympathy for them and the injustice that was being done to them to kill them in such a tortuous manner. However, I also found myself wondering how many of them, regardless of race or location, were actually guilty of the crime they had been accused of. At that moment, I was shocked at the reality that I was even thinking about this. For if I knew that they were actually guilty, I would have in some way felt a lesser degree of sympathy for them? Why did I feel like that? I’m not sure. The reality remained that they had been inhumanely tortured and killed. Should their degree or state of innocence or guilt effect the degree of compassion I feel for them? Should I fight against the injustice done on someone or on a group of people differently if I consider how guilty or even how worthy they are? Christ surely did not allow the guilt of my sin stop His outpouring of love and compassion to save me. I began thinking through all of these emotions and thoughts and was essentially reminded that there is no room for me to attempt to judge someone’s innocence or degree of worthiness when fighting against the injustice being done to them. If they are worthy of Christ’s blood, they are more than worthy of my compassion, prayers, energy and love. Even though it can be easy to be broken over the injustice of a helpless child caught in sex trafficking, I should just as quickly be broken over the injustice of a _________ (fill in the blank) being the subject of another form of human trafficking.
Here are a few pictures I took at the exhibit. (you can click on the pictures to enlarge them if you can't read the writing.)
May the redemption that came through the hands and hearts of those who fought against the injustices of our past encourage us and move us to move against the injustices in our world today. There are more humans enslaved in the world today than at any other time in human history. May we have grace to know, grace to be appalled, and grace to do something from a place of love.
A view of the Ohio river from inside the museum.
The entire experience was overwhelming and encouraging at the same time. Experiencing the horrors and injustice of slavery as well as the bravery and grace of the fight against it alongside a community of brothers and sisters, all of whom are being broken over the current state of human trafficking in our world, was truly transformational.
This is the opening painting and exhibit within the museum.
One of the most gripping experiences for me personally was the realization that the largest slave castle from which men, women and children were loaded onto ships was the very one that I visited in 2006 when I was in Ghana. The name of the castle is Elmina and is pictured below from a few photographs I took when I was there. Remembering the weight of my heart when I prayed over the remains of that castle in Ghana and the injustices carried out there while I was standing inside the Freedom museum in Cincinnati was a horrific convergence of two very real worlds and two very real experiences. Each experience truly elevating the reality of the other.
Furthermore, there was a special exhibit on display when we were at the museum chronicling the history of lynching within the United States. Now remember, this covered the history of lynching throughout the whole of the United States, not only the lynching of slaves in the South. In response to that exhibit, I recorded the following thoughts in my journal that evening:
In reading the captions and seeing all of the pictures of victims who had been lynched around America, I was reminded of how often the persons being lynched had been accused of certain crimes or injustices. I found myself quick to have sympathy for them and the injustice that was being done to them to kill them in such a tortuous manner. However, I also found myself wondering how many of them, regardless of race or location, were actually guilty of the crime they had been accused of. At that moment, I was shocked at the reality that I was even thinking about this. For if I knew that they were actually guilty, I would have in some way felt a lesser degree of sympathy for them? Why did I feel like that? I’m not sure. The reality remained that they had been inhumanely tortured and killed. Should their degree or state of innocence or guilt effect the degree of compassion I feel for them? Should I fight against the injustice done on someone or on a group of people differently if I consider how guilty or even how worthy they are? Christ surely did not allow the guilt of my sin stop His outpouring of love and compassion to save me. I began thinking through all of these emotions and thoughts and was essentially reminded that there is no room for me to attempt to judge someone’s innocence or degree of worthiness when fighting against the injustice being done to them. If they are worthy of Christ’s blood, they are more than worthy of my compassion, prayers, energy and love. Even though it can be easy to be broken over the injustice of a helpless child caught in sex trafficking, I should just as quickly be broken over the injustice of a _________ (fill in the blank) being the subject of another form of human trafficking.
Here are a few pictures I took at the exhibit. (you can click on the pictures to enlarge them if you can't read the writing.)
The next to last cause is "Insult to White Persons"
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" ~ Edmund Burke
May the redemption that came through the hands and hearts of those who fought against the injustices of our past encourage us and move us to move against the injustices in our world today. There are more humans enslaved in the world today than at any other time in human history. May we have grace to know, grace to be appalled, and grace to do something from a place of love.
July 10, 2010
a secluded extrovert
Ever had one of those moments? One of those moments when you really need Jesus yet you hold yourself back from His presence until you get "cleaned up" or "fixed"?
I spent the last couple of years of high school, all of college and the first two years after college becoming more outgoing and trying to be more extroverted. I honestly felt as if I was becoming more and more of who God made me to be. To this day, I still feel as if that is true. However, in the past few years I have watched myself begin moving in the opposite direction. Perhaps returning to some of my more introverted behaviors and isolating tendencies. Why?
I don't know. I think most of this has to do with living so far from family and my closest friends. Being in a new place and trying to develop a strong community while longing for "the way things were." How silly is that? I have the incredible opportunity to attend Asbury full-time and be a part of this grace-filled community while the Lord is trying to prepare me and mold me. And still I find myself feeling alone. It is so strange. And it's simply not what is true.
Lately, I have been going through several different things which have involved varying degrees of difficulty. At times, I find myself sharing certain struggles with certain people and other struggles with different people. Almost as if I'm deciding who would be best to encourage me and walk with me through various segments of my journey. (as a side, it is moments like these when a single person is tempted to believe that having a spouse would help to solve the majority of these issues) At others times, I just put my head down and push through portions by myself, as if it would require too much energy for me to have someone come with me. Why?
For me, I know that I am not looking for the answer to that question. Is that strange? I'm not looking because I am convinced there isn't just one simple answer. The complications of our lives and the dynamics of our relationships dictate how each of us would deal with our own journeys. I am, however, actively asking that question because in the asking I am being reminded of foundational truths.
You know one of the greatest lessons to be learned from Jesus' life on this planet, in my opinion, is what He taught us through passages such as Matthew 11:28-30. We only need to come to Him. We don't need to "get right" with God or clean ourselves up in order to approach Him. Does a wounded and dirty child hesitate to run into their father's arms when they need him? No, their instincts and experiences tell them it is within their Father's arms that they will be cleaned and find comfort. Still, how often do we hesitate to be with Jesus? There are moments in my life when I have felt compelled to go to Him in the midst of complete brokenness. There are other times when I have allowed _________ (church, society, religion, pride, ignorance, others' perceptions, etc...) to delay my going to Him. Yet, that is completely opposite of what He requires and wants for us.
While I continue to figure that out, I believe some of the same issues are at play in my having become a secluded extrovert. Part of me still feels as if that outgoing side of me is who I truly am. Yet, for whatever reason, I have bought into this concept of getting aspects of my life in order before I can reasonably and justly expect others to be there for me.
I recently posted a video of a Phil Wickham song on this blog called Safe in His Arms. However, sometimes it is really hard to trust in that if we don't know what His arms look like. Perhaps I haven't been running blindly into Jesus' arms because I haven't known where the best place is to find them (friends, family, prayer closet, worship service, etc...) But I do know that I can always trust His heart. That will never fail me. And instead of trying to figure out this part of my journey, I need to just present me, exactly as the broken mess I am, to all people all the time and find the answers as I go.
I'm sure none of that made any sense. So I apologize for unloading the confusion of my thoughts on you. But I will leave you with this song, which doesn't provide an "answer" or even really "touch me" per se, but it has helped to facilitate a lot of my thoughts lately. Thus, I can only hope it helps to express what I've attempted to share with you.
May you not hide from any part of your journey nor any one who is there to go with you.
I spent the last couple of years of high school, all of college and the first two years after college becoming more outgoing and trying to be more extroverted. I honestly felt as if I was becoming more and more of who God made me to be. To this day, I still feel as if that is true. However, in the past few years I have watched myself begin moving in the opposite direction. Perhaps returning to some of my more introverted behaviors and isolating tendencies. Why?
I don't know. I think most of this has to do with living so far from family and my closest friends. Being in a new place and trying to develop a strong community while longing for "the way things were." How silly is that? I have the incredible opportunity to attend Asbury full-time and be a part of this grace-filled community while the Lord is trying to prepare me and mold me. And still I find myself feeling alone. It is so strange. And it's simply not what is true.
Lately, I have been going through several different things which have involved varying degrees of difficulty. At times, I find myself sharing certain struggles with certain people and other struggles with different people. Almost as if I'm deciding who would be best to encourage me and walk with me through various segments of my journey. (as a side, it is moments like these when a single person is tempted to believe that having a spouse would help to solve the majority of these issues) At others times, I just put my head down and push through portions by myself, as if it would require too much energy for me to have someone come with me. Why?
For me, I know that I am not looking for the answer to that question. Is that strange? I'm not looking because I am convinced there isn't just one simple answer. The complications of our lives and the dynamics of our relationships dictate how each of us would deal with our own journeys. I am, however, actively asking that question because in the asking I am being reminded of foundational truths.
You know one of the greatest lessons to be learned from Jesus' life on this planet, in my opinion, is what He taught us through passages such as Matthew 11:28-30. We only need to come to Him. We don't need to "get right" with God or clean ourselves up in order to approach Him. Does a wounded and dirty child hesitate to run into their father's arms when they need him? No, their instincts and experiences tell them it is within their Father's arms that they will be cleaned and find comfort. Still, how often do we hesitate to be with Jesus? There are moments in my life when I have felt compelled to go to Him in the midst of complete brokenness. There are other times when I have allowed _________ (church, society, religion, pride, ignorance, others' perceptions, etc...) to delay my going to Him. Yet, that is completely opposite of what He requires and wants for us.
While I continue to figure that out, I believe some of the same issues are at play in my having become a secluded extrovert. Part of me still feels as if that outgoing side of me is who I truly am. Yet, for whatever reason, I have bought into this concept of getting aspects of my life in order before I can reasonably and justly expect others to be there for me.
I recently posted a video of a Phil Wickham song on this blog called Safe in His Arms. However, sometimes it is really hard to trust in that if we don't know what His arms look like. Perhaps I haven't been running blindly into Jesus' arms because I haven't known where the best place is to find them (friends, family, prayer closet, worship service, etc...) But I do know that I can always trust His heart. That will never fail me. And instead of trying to figure out this part of my journey, I need to just present me, exactly as the broken mess I am, to all people all the time and find the answers as I go.
I'm sure none of that made any sense. So I apologize for unloading the confusion of my thoughts on you. But I will leave you with this song, which doesn't provide an "answer" or even really "touch me" per se, but it has helped to facilitate a lot of my thoughts lately. Thus, I can only hope it helps to express what I've attempted to share with you.
May you not hide from any part of your journey nor any one who is there to go with you.
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