This is one of my favorite Derek Webb Songs. Listen to the words a few times and let it really sink in. The title of the song is "I Want a Broken Heart."
Fast forward to the 2:30 mark to where the song begins. Enjoy.
May I have a broken heart. May your heart be broken as well.
February 27, 2009
February 25, 2009
Lent
Continuing from the last post...
If God wants to wear me, there has to be room for Him to fit inside of me. I mean, there is plenty of room. However, I have to empty out the space that is easily filled by all the other stuff I've put inside. Both the good and the bad stuff. I have to be empty in order for God to fit the best inside of me.
Think about it. Have you ever tried to put on an outfit that was partially filled with something else. I mean finding a dryer sheet inside the sleeve of your shirt is aggravating enough! Imagine if your pants were filled with dryer sheets. Oh wow. But dryer sheets can be pretty simple to remove. Ourselves, however, can be more difficult to empty.
And that brings us to this glorious day known as Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Season of Lent. I won't get into attempting a full explanation of what Lent is. You have the rest of the internet at your full disposal to find out more if you so desire.
Lent provides us with a time to intentionally empty more of ourselves in order that the Spirit may have more freedom to dwell within us. Moreover, Lent is a time to allow the Spirit to shine light in the dark places that are hiding within us so that the Light may bring awareness to those things that need removal.
I am really looking forward to this season this year. I am asking the Lord to do a new thing in me. I want the Holy Spirit to have not only an "open door policy" to my life, but also to have free range to truly dwell within me. I'm not asking for a visitation of the Spirit, I want an inhabitation! May He find the same freedom and room in your hearts. May the power of the Spirit so fill you during Lent that you are never the same again.
If God wants to wear me, there has to be room for Him to fit inside of me. I mean, there is plenty of room. However, I have to empty out the space that is easily filled by all the other stuff I've put inside. Both the good and the bad stuff. I have to be empty in order for God to fit the best inside of me.
Think about it. Have you ever tried to put on an outfit that was partially filled with something else. I mean finding a dryer sheet inside the sleeve of your shirt is aggravating enough! Imagine if your pants were filled with dryer sheets. Oh wow. But dryer sheets can be pretty simple to remove. Ourselves, however, can be more difficult to empty.
And that brings us to this glorious day known as Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Season of Lent. I won't get into attempting a full explanation of what Lent is. You have the rest of the internet at your full disposal to find out more if you so desire.
Lent provides us with a time to intentionally empty more of ourselves in order that the Spirit may have more freedom to dwell within us. Moreover, Lent is a time to allow the Spirit to shine light in the dark places that are hiding within us so that the Light may bring awareness to those things that need removal.
I am really looking forward to this season this year. I am asking the Lord to do a new thing in me. I want the Holy Spirit to have not only an "open door policy" to my life, but also to have free range to truly dwell within me. I'm not asking for a visitation of the Spirit, I want an inhabitation! May He find the same freedom and room in your hearts. May the power of the Spirit so fill you during Lent that you are never the same again.
February 22, 2009
This doesn't fit anymore
My newest nephew's almost 11 weeks old. And he has just moved from his newborn clothes to 0-3month sizes. And this is only because of his height. The clothes are still too big for him to actually fit his waist. Talking about this with my sister the other day reminded me of something that the Lord shared with me back in the fall.
Think about those times when you have clothes that don't fit anymore. Perhaps you've been sick for months and have lost weight to the point where those really comfortable jeans are difficult to keep on without a belt. Or maybe the holidays have left their mark on you and that favorite shirt is a little too tight. Still, these are your favorite pieces of clothes, so you force yourself to keep wearing them as long as possible.
I was thinking about this, and actually dealing with it in the fall as I had lost weight while battling with my illness. I assumed I'd be gaining the weight back when I got healthy, thus I just kept wearing my jeans and letting my belt do all the work. No need to worry about new clothes if I wouldn't need them for good.
Sometimes, I find myself thinking about my relationship with God in a similar way. Whether it comes from intellectual growth, relational growth, or emotional growth, or even a struggle with any of these areas, my "spiritual size" changes (spiritual size = relationship with the Lord). I then think about what I must do to adapt accordingly to my new "spiritual size." Depending on the situation, perhaps I need to now be praying more. Maybe my desire is to start spending more time with friends or more time studying. Perhaps I need to stop worrying about money or what someone thinks of me. Essentially, I think that I need to change my "spiritual clothes" (my actions, behaviors, or ways of thinking) in order that I may fit into my "spiritual size."
Does this make sense?
What the Lord showed me gave me so much peace. The Lord simply quieted my heart one night and said, "Jeffrey. You don't have to worry about changing (actions, behaviors, thoughts) in order to 'fit' into the new and transformed you. If I have my way, you will always be changing. If you will allow Me, I will constantly change you more and more into the image that We first created you in; Our image. So quit worrying that your 'spiritual clothes' aren't the correct fit for you 'spiritual size.' You never need to worry about fitting. The reason is that you will never fit in Me. I didn't create you that way. You are made so that I may fit inside of you. And as you grow, change, and transform, I am perfectly able to fit Myself inside of you. Quit worrying about whether or not you 'fit' in Me. You don't wear Me. I want to wear you. Just let Me live inside of you and I'll always fit."
So, now I sit. This is somewhat of a different mindset. Seemingly a simple one. Still, all the Lord wants to do is to live inside of me. I need not worry about trying to measure up to be worthy of who Jesus wants me to be. All He asks is that I give him myself, and He'll fit inside of me. After all, He has made me who I am for a reason. And He'll continue to change me for a reason. As I allow Him to transform my "spiritual size," He'll do the work of filling me in exactly the right way.
May you find peace in the Lord and remember that you don't have to try to 'wear' God. As you let Him, He will 'wear' you just as you are and fill you to the utmost. And may Lucas find some baby clothes that are long enough for him yet don't swallow him whole :)
Think about those times when you have clothes that don't fit anymore. Perhaps you've been sick for months and have lost weight to the point where those really comfortable jeans are difficult to keep on without a belt. Or maybe the holidays have left their mark on you and that favorite shirt is a little too tight. Still, these are your favorite pieces of clothes, so you force yourself to keep wearing them as long as possible.
I was thinking about this, and actually dealing with it in the fall as I had lost weight while battling with my illness. I assumed I'd be gaining the weight back when I got healthy, thus I just kept wearing my jeans and letting my belt do all the work. No need to worry about new clothes if I wouldn't need them for good.
Sometimes, I find myself thinking about my relationship with God in a similar way. Whether it comes from intellectual growth, relational growth, or emotional growth, or even a struggle with any of these areas, my "spiritual size" changes (spiritual size = relationship with the Lord). I then think about what I must do to adapt accordingly to my new "spiritual size." Depending on the situation, perhaps I need to now be praying more. Maybe my desire is to start spending more time with friends or more time studying. Perhaps I need to stop worrying about money or what someone thinks of me. Essentially, I think that I need to change my "spiritual clothes" (my actions, behaviors, or ways of thinking) in order that I may fit into my "spiritual size."
Does this make sense?
What the Lord showed me gave me so much peace. The Lord simply quieted my heart one night and said, "Jeffrey. You don't have to worry about changing (actions, behaviors, thoughts) in order to 'fit' into the new and transformed you. If I have my way, you will always be changing. If you will allow Me, I will constantly change you more and more into the image that We first created you in; Our image. So quit worrying that your 'spiritual clothes' aren't the correct fit for you 'spiritual size.' You never need to worry about fitting. The reason is that you will never fit in Me. I didn't create you that way. You are made so that I may fit inside of you. And as you grow, change, and transform, I am perfectly able to fit Myself inside of you. Quit worrying about whether or not you 'fit' in Me. You don't wear Me. I want to wear you. Just let Me live inside of you and I'll always fit."
So, now I sit. This is somewhat of a different mindset. Seemingly a simple one. Still, all the Lord wants to do is to live inside of me. I need not worry about trying to measure up to be worthy of who Jesus wants me to be. All He asks is that I give him myself, and He'll fit inside of me. After all, He has made me who I am for a reason. And He'll continue to change me for a reason. As I allow Him to transform my "spiritual size," He'll do the work of filling me in exactly the right way.
May you find peace in the Lord and remember that you don't have to try to 'wear' God. As you let Him, He will 'wear' you just as you are and fill you to the utmost. And may Lucas find some baby clothes that are long enough for him yet don't swallow him whole :)
February 18, 2009
Blog Buddy
Something really neat just happened to you...Something horrific just occurred in your life...You just realized something about yourself...A revelation just became clear in your mind...You learned something new. Now what are you going to do? Who are you going to tell? How long will it be before you can share this with someone else?
We all have that person. That person who comes to mind as soon as something happens to us. It may be a different person depending on what has happened. But we have those people. For instance, when certain things happen to me, I may begin thinking about when I will call and tell my family, or how I will go about sharing this new concept with a friend the next time we talk on the phone, etc...
However, of late, that person has changed for me. I thoroughly enjoy being in seminary and have met many new and wonderful people. I have been blessed to keep in touch with a few of my friends on a somewhat regular basis. And I am blessed to talk to my family at least once a week. Still, I don't have a constant person that automatically comes to mind when something happens to me, or when I realize something new. (When one day I get married, hopefully this will change) Certainly there are specific people that come to mind regarding specific issues. Lately, however, my mind has mostly begun thinking about how I would go about blogging this event or revelation. In a sense, writing on this blog has become one of the foremost avenues I use to process and share my life.
Interesting? I have yet to decide if that is a good thing or not. In some ways, it almost seems sad. My first source of sharing is with a laptop? That seems pathetic. Yet, I realize that I am in a community and do share my life with people regularly. I continue to watch how the Lord is using my use of this blog to teach me and develop His creativity within me. And now, this has become my "blog buddy."
Lord, thank you for how you are renewing and restoring the creativity within me as I share my thoughts and my life on this blog. May you continue to surround me with your community. May I always have friends that will listen to my heart and the ability to share in their lives as well. May you also continue to use this blog in my own life to whatever degree you choose.
We all have that person. That person who comes to mind as soon as something happens to us. It may be a different person depending on what has happened. But we have those people. For instance, when certain things happen to me, I may begin thinking about when I will call and tell my family, or how I will go about sharing this new concept with a friend the next time we talk on the phone, etc...
However, of late, that person has changed for me. I thoroughly enjoy being in seminary and have met many new and wonderful people. I have been blessed to keep in touch with a few of my friends on a somewhat regular basis. And I am blessed to talk to my family at least once a week. Still, I don't have a constant person that automatically comes to mind when something happens to me, or when I realize something new. (When one day I get married, hopefully this will change) Certainly there are specific people that come to mind regarding specific issues. Lately, however, my mind has mostly begun thinking about how I would go about blogging this event or revelation. In a sense, writing on this blog has become one of the foremost avenues I use to process and share my life.
Interesting? I have yet to decide if that is a good thing or not. In some ways, it almost seems sad. My first source of sharing is with a laptop? That seems pathetic. Yet, I realize that I am in a community and do share my life with people regularly. I continue to watch how the Lord is using my use of this blog to teach me and develop His creativity within me. And now, this has become my "blog buddy."
Lord, thank you for how you are renewing and restoring the creativity within me as I share my thoughts and my life on this blog. May you continue to surround me with your community. May I always have friends that will listen to my heart and the ability to share in their lives as well. May you also continue to use this blog in my own life to whatever degree you choose.
February 13, 2009
Top 10 problems with Reality TV
10. Failed celebrities begin to believe their careers have been resurrected.
9. Reality TV suggests that life is only real when high levels of drama are involved.
8. Reality TV participants don't pay bills, go to the grocery store, or do laundry.
7. The more reality TV is watched, the more reality TV programs will be created.
6. Reality TV participants return to reality when the show is over.
5. Who in real life allows the person they are pursuing to date 24 other people at the same time?
4. How normal do you act when you know you are being video taped?
3. Do you know how much editing is involved while producing reality TV?
2. Have you ever seen someone on reality TV sitting down to watch reality TV?
1. The more Americans watch reality TV, the more distorted our view becomes of what is reality.
May your search and understanding of reality lead you to full, abundant life.
9. Reality TV suggests that life is only real when high levels of drama are involved.
8. Reality TV participants don't pay bills, go to the grocery store, or do laundry.
7. The more reality TV is watched, the more reality TV programs will be created.
6. Reality TV participants return to reality when the show is over.
5. Who in real life allows the person they are pursuing to date 24 other people at the same time?
4. How normal do you act when you know you are being video taped?
3. Do you know how much editing is involved while producing reality TV?
2. Have you ever seen someone on reality TV sitting down to watch reality TV?
1. The more Americans watch reality TV, the more distorted our view becomes of what is reality.
May your search and understanding of reality lead you to full, abundant life.
February 8, 2009
Family
Here are a couple of photos of Lucas, my newest nephew.
The first one is him laying in his swing with Amani, his stuffed monkey that I bought him for Christmas. Amani means "peace" in Swahili, which is what my name means as well. So it is just a really cool picture to me.
I can't believe I haven't seen him in over a month. He is going to be so big the next time I see him.
I hope to get back to "regular" blogging soon. Enough of these "picture posts"
The first one is him laying in his swing with Amani, his stuffed monkey that I bought him for Christmas. Amani means "peace" in Swahili, which is what my name means as well. So it is just a really cool picture to me.
I can't believe I haven't seen him in over a month. He is going to be so big the next time I see him.
I hope to get back to "regular" blogging soon. Enough of these "picture posts"
Winter update
So here are some pics from the ice storm covered with snow. See if you can notice in some of the pictures how much ice there is that the snow is on top of. The snow wasn't that bad. The ice is what caused all of the problems.
This is the creation of the 5 folks from the South. And no, that is not a beer bottle. It is a Kentucky tradition called Ale-8-1.
Winter can be beautiful, when you don't have to live in it. But it can be disruptive and deadly also. Somewhere around 25 people in the state died in this storm. I'm so glad all of the ice is now gone. I'm just wondering how long it will be before all of the trees and limbs are cleaned up.
Walking around campus at night, when the light posts were illuminated, it seemed as if you were walking around in Narnia. It was crazy.
And a piece of advice. If you have a scraper that you use to remove the ice and snow from your car, it is probably a good idea not to store said scraper inside of your car. When your car is literally covered with a few inches of ice followed by a few inches of snow, your scraper doesn't do you that much good. There is simply no getting into your car.
Hope you are all safe and warm.
This is the creation of the 5 folks from the South. And no, that is not a beer bottle. It is a Kentucky tradition called Ale-8-1.
Winter can be beautiful, when you don't have to live in it. But it can be disruptive and deadly also. Somewhere around 25 people in the state died in this storm. I'm so glad all of the ice is now gone. I'm just wondering how long it will be before all of the trees and limbs are cleaned up.
Walking around campus at night, when the light posts were illuminated, it seemed as if you were walking around in Narnia. It was crazy.
And a piece of advice. If you have a scraper that you use to remove the ice and snow from your car, it is probably a good idea not to store said scraper inside of your car. When your car is literally covered with a few inches of ice followed by a few inches of snow, your scraper doesn't do you that much good. There is simply no getting into your car.
Hope you are all safe and warm.
February 4, 2009
ice capades 2.0
Have I told you lately that ice is evil?
So tonight, or more accurately early this morning, as I was attempting to drive home from work, the ice struck again! (And people wonder why I hate the cold...) We've gotten a few more inches of snow the past day or so, with more still falling.
Anyway, I was driving home and as I slowed to make a turn, my car decided it didn't want to stop. I guess taking a turn at 3 miles an hour in snow isn't slow enough? My car kept sliding until it was completely off the road. As I slid off the road, my car was picking up speed. I wasn't sure if I should expect to flip soon or if there was a nice big oak tree awaiting a firm hug from my car. It was quite an adventurous detour. Yet, none of the above occurred. My car stopped about 2 inches from the oak tree, and the hill wasn't steep enough to cause the car to flip. I was, of course, stuck! No permanent damage to the car, just another story to add to "The Chronicles of the T-bird."
After three failed calls to 411 and towing truck businesses, I resorted to the old-fashioned 911. The officers were nice enough, and the tow truck guy was especially nice; well, as nice as you can be pulling a car back onto the road in the snow with a 0 degree wind chill.
So, 2 hours (yes, I said 2 hours), a 911 call, and $75 towing fee later, I was back on the road to get home. I was frozen solid, frustrated with the $75 fee, and still all I could do was laugh.
So, this is my life: life in Kentucky anyway. I guess that upcoming doctor's visit that was supposed to allow me to breathe again will just have to wait. My car and the ice decided they wanted my money instead.
May you laugh with me, at me, and for me. I can't wait for summer!!!
So tonight, or more accurately early this morning, as I was attempting to drive home from work, the ice struck again! (And people wonder why I hate the cold...) We've gotten a few more inches of snow the past day or so, with more still falling.
Anyway, I was driving home and as I slowed to make a turn, my car decided it didn't want to stop. I guess taking a turn at 3 miles an hour in snow isn't slow enough? My car kept sliding until it was completely off the road. As I slid off the road, my car was picking up speed. I wasn't sure if I should expect to flip soon or if there was a nice big oak tree awaiting a firm hug from my car. It was quite an adventurous detour. Yet, none of the above occurred. My car stopped about 2 inches from the oak tree, and the hill wasn't steep enough to cause the car to flip. I was, of course, stuck! No permanent damage to the car, just another story to add to "The Chronicles of the T-bird."
After three failed calls to 411 and towing truck businesses, I resorted to the old-fashioned 911. The officers were nice enough, and the tow truck guy was especially nice; well, as nice as you can be pulling a car back onto the road in the snow with a 0 degree wind chill.
So, 2 hours (yes, I said 2 hours), a 911 call, and $75 towing fee later, I was back on the road to get home. I was frozen solid, frustrated with the $75 fee, and still all I could do was laugh.
So, this is my life: life in Kentucky anyway. I guess that upcoming doctor's visit that was supposed to allow me to breathe again will just have to wait. My car and the ice decided they wanted my money instead.
May you laugh with me, at me, and for me. I can't wait for summer!!!
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